Haiku

in a meeting

stapler thrown at door
that should get their attention
nevermind the dent

kids need to be more quiet
when i am in a meeting

It's A Miracle!

Humiliated ex-preacher Ted Haggard has totally recovered from his bout of gayness after three weeks of intensive counseling.

I'm guessing it's going to take Mrs. Haggard a little longer.

Superbowl Sunday

Been watching the early hype and so far it's all Colts Colts Colts.

What is wrong with these people?

"The 1985 Bears were a great team. Loved that Walter Payton. And speaking of Payton, how about that Peyton Manning? Isn't he the best quarterback in the Whole Wide World Since The Dawn Of Time? He is unstoppable. Yessiree, the Colts are going to be exciting to watch. I wonder how many minutes of the game it will take until they establish dominance? I'm betting 10 minutes, Bob. In fact, I think they might as well just end the game at half time. Or do you think that's too generous to the Bears, Bob?"

Not that Da Bears need any hyping, of course. But jeeeeeeezers!

UPDATE: I actually just heard one of these announcer yahoos call this "The Peyton Manning Super bowl." And a few minutes ago one of them said, essentially, that if the Colts lose it's because Peyton Manning choked. I hope the Bears kick their asses.

UPDATE 2: Depression -- Bears defeated.

National Intelligence Estimate: Iraq

The NIE is out and it's not pretty. My summary:

• A military surge won't work unless the Iraqis decide they want to get along.
• The Iraqis don't appear to be anywhere near deciding they want to get along.
  
• Our presence won't stop Iraq's descent into violence and our departure will hasten it.
  
• Yes, it's a civil war.
• No, it's not Iran's fault.
• There are still plenty of ways it can get worse.

On a side note, Stephen Hadley and the White House are still refusing to say the words "civil war" when discussing Iraq. They kind of remind me of my kids. At one point or another, each of my kids believed that if they put their hands over their eyes, whatever was in front of them at that moment would disappear. To a child, this is the handiest way to deal with trouble... for example, when caught making snow angels in laundry soap. And so I find the state of WH denial childish, as if closing their eyes to reality means it doesn't exist. Except they aren't kids, and it's not soap, and I don't find it amusing.

The whole situation smacks of desperation so I had to agree with Josh Marshall when he said this:

"I've said this before. But perhaps it seemed like hyperbole so I'll say it again. The president's interests are now radically disjoined from the country's. We can handle a setback like Iraq. It really is a big disaster. But America will certainly survive it. President Bush -- in the sense of his legacy and historical record -- won't. It's all Iraq for him. And Iraq is all disaster. So, from his perspective (that is to say, through the prism of his interests rather than the country's -- which he probably can't separate) reckless gambits aimed at breaking out of this ever-tightening box make sense.

Think of it like this. He's a death row prisoner concocting a thousand-to-one plan to break out of prison. For him, those are good odds. The rest of us are doing three months for disorderly conduct. And he's trying to rope us into his harebrained scheme. Like I said, his interests are very different from ours."

Stabby Rip Stab Stab

Mood: Apathetic

You know you've hit a new low in your life when a commercial featuring you as a fast food cook is considered an insult to fast food cooks.

Happy Friday!

Ah, yes... the brave and noble General Maximus Decimus Meridius (and not the drunken, bar brawling guy who plays him).

Scooter For President

I think my youngest and (arguably) slightly retarded cat, Scooter, is as equally deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize as Landmark Legal Foundation's unsolicited nominee, Rush Limbaugh.

Don't take my word for it, though. By slightly tweaking Landmark's nomination letter, we can see clearly that Scooter's contributions are every bit as true and meaningful as those attributed to Limbaugh.

Dear Mr Mjos:

Landmark Legal Foundation Think, Dammit! herewith submits the name of Rush Limbaugh Scooter as an unsolicited nomination for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize.

We are offering this nomination for Mr. Limbaugh's Scooter's nearly two decades years of tireless efforts to promote liberty, equality and opportunity for all mankind, regardless of race, creed, economic stratum or national origin. We fervently believe that these are the only real cornerstones of just and lasting peace throughout the world.

Rush Limbaugh Scooter is a nationally syndicated radio talk show host in the United States and one of the most popular broadcasters in the world cat. His daily radio show is heard on more than 600 radio stations in the United States and around the world He eats and sleeps. For 18 2 years he has used his show to become the foremost advocate for freedom and democracy in the world today eaten and slept. Everyday he gives voice to the values of democratic governance, individual opportunity and the just, equal application of the rule of law -- and it is fitting the Nobel Committee recognize the power of these ideals to build a truly peaceful world for future generations.

Thank you for your thoughtful and serious consideration of this nomination. Should you require additional information, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
Think, Dammit!

Isn't Scooter brilliant? Next month I'm nominating him to be the 2008 Republican presidential candidate. Scooter '08!