Very Cosmopolitan

• My mood gets exponentially better with each Cosmopolitan I consume. One of my favorite TV episodes - ever - is the 'King of Queens' episode where the usually-uptight wife goes out with some friends for Appletini's after work and comes home tipsy and relaxed. The husband prefers her in this state and begins feeding her Appletini's when she gets home from work each night until she finally catches on. Sitcom hilarity ensues.
  

• I want to live in the South just so I can speak with a Southern accent.

• Not many people know this but Shel Silverstein wrote "Boy Named Sue" (recorded by Johnny Cash in 1969). The last line of this stanza is pure poetry:
  

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.