Mississippi

Obama wins.

Congratulations to the newest state that doesn't count! Predictably, Mississippi has a few flaws:

• Too southern
• Too poor
• Too small
• Too black

We're still feeing very, very honored that it participated in the democratic process, however, so we're choosing to focus on the positive:

• It's probably not muslim as far as we know.
• Although it's not experienced enough to be a state, it's definitely qualified to be a territory or even a colony.
• It promptly apologized for calling Georgia a mean name.

Way to go, Miss Issippi!

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